


KAMUKURA KAMUKURA

by PsychoForHope



Series: KAMUKURA KAMUKURA [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Danganronpa, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alcoholism, Angst, Depressing, Depression, Komahina - Freeform, Love, M/M, Mental Illness, Romance, Sad, Smoking, Vodka, possible eating disorder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-12
Packaged: 2018-10-28 11:39:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,120
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10830516
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PsychoForHope/pseuds/PsychoForHope
Summary: Kamukura has been in a relationship with Komaeda since he still was Hinata, and he decided to get the procedure done due to Komaeda’s love of hope and talent. They lived happily together for a little while, until Kamukura decided to become friends with Enoshima due to his boredom.Enoshima didn’t like how Komaeda tried to fill Kamukura with his ideas of hope, and one day, she ran away with him, to show him the thrills of despair. Was it his will or not? You’ll find out when I post the fic haha.Komaeda, filled with despair and grief from loosing Kamukura becomes sickly thin, starts smoking, drinking and goes mentally ill.Based on the story of Violeta Violeta by Kaizers Orchestra





	1. Philemon Arthur & The Dung

**Author's Note:**

> And so the story begins! I’m not sure how often I will post for this series, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. I was originally planning on making a normal type of prologue, but I figured that this story/song would be good enough. In the future, I’ll put more songs/stories into each chapter (this is gonna keep going forever if I don’t), but this is the first one, so let’s just do one for now. Philemon Arthur & the Dung: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ynF9kVIjLGo   
> Enjoy!

In a quiet little town in the country of Japan there lived a couple. Their names were Kamukura Izuru and Komaeda Nagito. This young couple had been together for something around 3 years, or so they said. But in reality, Komaeda and Kamukura had just met. Then why did they live together? Why did they say 3 years? The answer is actually quite simple. Up until just a week ago, Kamukura had gone by a different name, Hinata Hajime. 

Hinata was a run of the mill kind of guy that had a 9-5 job, a standard education and lived together with his oh so great boyfriend, Komaeda. They had met a year prior to becoming a couple, trough common friends. Hajime fell for the taller, white haired boy almost at first sigh, and luckily for him, Komaeda had felt the same. Not that any of them wanted to admit it for the two years, both of them being to shy, and insecure, thinking that the other wasn’t into boys.

One day, Hinata had built up all his courage and actually confessed to the other. He had been so nervous, on the verge of crying, but oh, he had actually said that he felt the same, and they got together. It was at this point that things had started to change; Komaeda’s beliefs had started showing. They weren’t anything too drastic; he just really loved hope and talent. 

During the three years they were together, this had really started growing on Hinata Making him insecure and self-conscious about the fact that he didn’t poses any talents to bring ‘hope’. Until one day, the perfect opportunity had ben given to him: a surgery to make him into the ultimate hope, with every talent known to man. The brunette knew that this would change who he was, wipe away most of his memories, and change him as a person. Because of all this, he had decided to hide it from his boyfriend, only telling him that he was going to the hospital to get an in-depth examination over a few days.

Before long, the surgery was finished, and he had been allowed to go back home, as long as he came for occasional check-ups. The white haired Komaeda had noticed a difference right away, and he wasn’t happy at all about the fact that his trusted love had lied to him, but what could he do about it now? 

Komaeda had been trying day and night to make the new man, Kamukura, interested. So far, it hadn’t worked out all too well. He had tried as best as he could to make the now raven man believe in hope, and how it could overcome any despair, but Kamukura would just say that it was ‘boring’, and talk about how he wanted to see if despair was more interesting.  
To Kamukura’s delight, he had met a female, Enoshima Junko, who was all too eager to show this man the true delight of despair. She was like Komaeda in many ways, only that she longed for despair to concur all hope. The raven wasn’t at all interested in dating her or anything, he actually found her quite annoying, but he still stuck with her as a friend, wanting to experience this ‘despair’ she was talking about.

Not a long time passed before she met Komaeda, getting into countless fights after only a week, fights about hope and despair. She was sick of it already, sick of his ideals, how he was trying to make Kamukura believe in ‘hope’.

Some more time had passed, and the strawberry blonde female had talked Kamukura into running away to show him what despair felt like. Any normal person wouldn’t have done it; they wouldn’t run away from the person they loved when they hadn’t done anything even slightly wrong. But Kamukura wasn’t a normal person; he didn’t have feelings like others, he just wanted to find something entertaining, something unpredictable. 

Kamukura hadn’t broken up with the taller man that was his boyfriend, he hadn’t talked to him about it, nothing. He had simply left a small note, saying ‘I’m leaving to see what is better between hope and despair. I left with Junko, you won’t find us even if you look’.

Komaeda had found the small note laying on the coffee table in their living room, instantly recognizing the handwriting of his boyfriend. ‘’What is this? Has he gone to the store or something?’’ he had asked himself as he picked it up. He had read trough it about five times before ultimately understanding what it meant. ‘’W-what!? Kamukura… what have you done? Why?’’ 

These were questions he now was asking himself every day. The Komaeda Nagito that was happily in love with Hinata Hajime and Kamukura Izuru was no more. Komaeda was a man with a fragile psyche, being affected by traumatic experiences in his younger age. He simply didn’t know how to cope with this. But who could blame him? His boyfriend had just left, with a person that he hated, not leaving him with more than a simple note.

This whole thing had broken his mind, and he was more unstable than ever. At this point in time, the whitenette was balancing between being mentally sound and ill. He had picked up smoking and drinking straight up vodka. The smoking wasn’t a small thing either, he would usually go trough a pack of 20 in just one day. And to top that all off, the drinking was just as bad. There were few moments of the day where he wasn’t seen with a lighted cigarette in his mouth, and an opened bottle of vodka in his hand. 

But did you think that was bad enough? Oh how wrong you are. His overwhelming grief and unhealthy drinking habits had also left him with a sickly thin and pale body, and even hallucinations. Sometimes he would hear the doorbell ring, and even tho he knew it wasn’t real, but even then he would ask himself ‘’is this you, my love? Oh dear, come in and have a cup of coffee with me’’ Oh how he longed to see his lost love once again.


	2. Sju bøtter tårer er nokk, Beatrice/Femtakt filosofi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Komaeda is mad, grieving more than ever. He finally finds his way out of his existential crisis, and the motivation he needs to go out in the world to find Enoshima and Kamukura.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: this chapter talks about a suicide attempt, you have been warned.
> 
> Thank you all fro all the support I’ve gotten on Ao3, Tumblr and the DR Amino! It really means a lot to me. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to try and write this once a week, so here you have chapter 2, I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> Songs tis is based on:  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rYH5lWl5JFk  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PczGsR2HFQw

# Sju bøtter tårer er nokk, Beatrice

 

Komaeda is still left in his big house, now as empty as the night. He doesn’t have anyone to support him, to help him find his lost love. But even if he had someone to help him, what would they do? Enoshima and Kamukura were surely on the move to avoid being found. As of now, there just wasn’t any hope…

The whitehaired man develops a psychotic behavior that marks him with compulsive behavior. This leads him to do a lot of things he would never even think of before. This probably explained his drinking, smoking and otherwise dangerous actions. But who knows, Komaeda wasn’t the most stabile person before this happened either.  
  
The grief had grown so big that he had started crying into buckets, filling one bucket a year. He would fill them to the brim, to the point where they almost ran over. He wasn’t entirely sure why he did this, but that wasn’t really important. After three years the poor boy was finally empty. He wasn’t able to cry tears anymore, he would cry without shedding a single tear. At this point he didn’t see any other ways out than to take his own life.

Komaeda as broken as he was, had been walking in endless circles in his attic, talking himself like he had done so much recently. ‘’Why did he leave me? Why would he choose despair over hope? I guess I just wasn’t good enough… How could I ever think that I was good enough? I’m scum, and this is just how my cycle of good and bad luck works.’’ He wouldn’t usually get this affected by his cycle of luck, but this was just too much for him to handle.

After a long time of walking and talking, he had picked up his stick of dynamite that he had gotten from a friend, years ago. Komaeda sat down on an old, run down chair and light fuse, placing the dynamite underneath it. While he was waiting, he let himself get lost in his dreams, until IT happened.  
  
During the time he was dreaming, he had connected to Kamukura. He saw this as a sign, a sign that he shouldn’t go through with killing himself. His thoughts ran wild, he had a lit stick of dynamite underneath him, he had to survive, he couldn’t go trough with this as long as he was still connected with his love. At that moment he had decided to go out in the world, to find them and take revenge on Junko.  
  
At the last second before the dynamite explodes, the whitehaired throws it out the window and runs to the door. It was all going so fast, being over before almost a second had passed, but yet it felt like an eternity. His heart beat quick and hard, feeling almost as if it was about to shoot out trough his chest.

The side of his long jacked caught on fire as the dynamite exploded with a loud ‘boom’, in a state of panic, he picked up his three buckets of salty tears and throws it over himself. Who would ever have thought that the 3 years of sorrow would save him from his own death?

# Femtakt filosofi

Some time had passed, he was dry and his heart had calmed down from the explosion and drama caused by himself. Komaeda was back to wandering aimlessly around his empty house, he is talking to himself and all the demons in his head. ‘’Hell, my lucky cycle struck again. This is not the time for me to pass, that’s still long in the future’’ As usual he was dressed in his old jacket, now halfway burned on one side. The man was reeking of gasoline, holding a half-empty bottle of vodka in his hand, a cigarette in the corner of his mouth.

Komaeda went trough a hard school with all his thoughts, having been in an existential crisis ever since Enoshima and Kamukura left. For so long he hadn’t seen a single reason to keep on living, why he even existed. He had just been a pawn in Enoshima’s plan of ‘despair’. The only thing he had done since they left was getting drunk and smoking too many cigarettes.

He had been unable to take action and getting a grip of his own life. It had gone so far that he had even tried to take his own life… But now, he was finally able to see all the links clearly again, the links between him and his love.

All his experiences are amplified, like in a natural psychedelic ecstasy. Every feeling, color and sound was so much more vibrant. If he were to look down on his dark green jacket, it would seem like it was almost neon green.

All the boundaries between dreams, fantasy and reality were now blurred out. He would dream about killing Enoshima with his bare hands, and kissing Kamukura, thinking that he had actually done it.

Oh how lucky he was, yes, he was LUCKY, that was his talent after all, and oh how much he praised it. At this moment of time he didn’t even care about his cycle of bad luck. Not only was he praising himself and his talent for once, but he was also mocking Enoshima. ‘’You can’t see past despair, can you? The beautiful hope tat lies behind it. The despair you cause will end in hope, no matter what you do, no matter what you cause, hope will find you and defeat it!’’

Komaeda smiles widely to himself, gulping down the last of his alcoholic beverage. ‘’All of you useless people who can’t imagine hope shining trough must obviously be dead!’’ His grey-ish green irises goes wide, swirls of black and white overlapping, almost like hope and despair dancing together.

‘’I can’t even imagine how you keep on living, hope is everything, you are utterly useless!’’ A small huff escapes his lips before he starts laughing like the madman he truly was at this point. His laughter went on and on, for at least five minutes before he lost his breath. Komaeda sat down on his run down chair that he had tried to kill himself on. ‘’Enoshima, for you I have one simple thing to say. Even if your birth was natural, that surely doesn’t mean that your death will be!’’ He shouted out loud, breathing heavily, trying to keep himself at least slightly sane.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading; I’m really getting into this! Look forward to next chapter next week!

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading this, I’m actually pretty happy with how this first chapter turned out. And I’m sorry that this is kinda short, but I wanted to keep this first chapter on the shorter side. Let’s hope that it just gets better, keep tuned fore more, for there sure is a lot more coming!


End file.
